Monday, September 22, 2008

First Day of Work

So the first day of work after a PAO and 12 weeks of being at home and taking care of myself feels like I've been BODY SLAMMED AGAINST A WALL.
I'm a nurse at a very busy cardiology office where we stress test and it's a up and down job. I'm so worn out it isn't even funny. I came home crying. My partner at work bless her heart did as much as she could without me getting up, but I'm dying. I wish I had time to work a few hours and then take off. I don't have the luxury of a desk job and I just can't express how exhausted I am and how tired I am. To top it off I had a bottle of ibuprofen 500 tablets...........that's right.......500 tablets. I reached in the cabinet to take some after lunch.............GONE!!!!!! My doctor and the nurse in my place took them all. I would have given an eye tooth for ibuprofen about 1pm today. Oh well, I'll just have to take some tomorrow and hide it in my purse. I would love to elaborate more, but I'm exhausted and so sore that I'm just going to go to bed now. Goodnight all!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Twas the Night before Work!

Okay well it's officially the night before I go back to work. It's been 12 long but short weeks since this journey that is my PAO started. I look back now and can pull several of my favorite moments and not so favorite moments from the whole process. But, first, I'm currently still in therapy and doing well. I'm walking about 50% with a cane and the other 50% on my own with only a slight limp. My leg muscles get really sore and make funny noises when they are pushed to the limit. BUT..........NO HIP PAIN! I get to go back to work tomorrow for the first time in 12 weeks. I'm a little nervous. It's like starting all over again and it's just nerve racking for me.
As I look back (mist/fog/clouds............)
Well start with the bad first!
Not-so-favorite moments from my PAO:
1 - Husband care taking issues
2 - Constipation
3 - Not being able to take a shower for 14 days
4 - My pastor not coming to see me but once
5 - Loss of independence
6 - the long wait for rehab/and to start walking

Favorite Moments........heck yeah there are some
1 - My parents being awesome caregivers and feeding me awesome meals all summer
2 - spending time with my parents
3 - being out of work for 12 weeks
4 - reading
5 - learning that I freaking love M*A*S*H
6 - THE OLYMPICS!!!!!!
7 - Losing weight

Well it's been a strange/helpful journey. If I could do it all over again of course I would because I no longer have the hip pain and feel that I'm out of the woods for a considerable amount of time concerning my hips.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

A Spider Will Make You Run

Well I have one week until I go back to work. I'm actually getting excited because I can interact with adults again.
The title today is because of what happened today. I've been working with just a cane and weight bearing as tolerated. I was at the beach with my family. I was rinsing off at the trailer and we have these giant spiders in the trees and I noticed a spider crawling up the side of the shower. I screamed, threw the hose and took off running to the best of my capabilities. It was kind of funny when you look back, at least my parents got a giant kick out of it.
I'm now on a cane. I feel okay and am wanting to get back to normal. I drove the other day for the first time (MY NEW VEHICLE) I'm so excited about that.
My legs do hurt at night after using them all day. I do work hard at PT and do as many of them as I can at home. I'm really stalled as to what else is going on with my recovery. My mental state is much better and my leg/hip is feeling so much better overall except the expected soreness and stiffness.
Well not too much more now.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Post-Olympic Depression

Well it's been one week since the closing ceremonies in Beijing and I'm still bored. I didn't realize that these Olympics would get me over the hump that is my slow recovery from this RPAO. I watched everyday faithfully and it let me forget all that is aggravating concerning my recovery. I don't know if it's because it's the start of my period or the fact that I'm dreading going back to work but I'm very sad. I seemed to have come out of my cloud, but have seemed to go back under. I'm sad because the Olympics are over and they were wonderful and it was so fun to watch with my parents and my husband. I'm scared because I realize I have 3 weeks left til I go back to work and I just don't know how I'll do. I'm scared I won't keep up and they will have words with me. I'm scared I'll get tired or sore early in the day and am unable to make it to the end of the day and then have the rest of the week. I'm scared to get back to normal as bad as I want it. Isn't that weird. I've had wonderful help and never have suffered or gone without and I have never let that happen and now I'm scared/sad of what will happened when this is all said and done. I know it will be better and I will look back at everything and laugh and remember certain things. I'm scared at how we will make it financially in October. I go back to work Sept. 22nd, but don't get paid again until Oct. 31st. That's really long with no income. I'm scared I won't be able to continue my PT due to financial constraints. The physical therapy place is charging $40.00 per visit and I'm going now twice a week and that's not even bearing any real weight yet. The front desk acts really unfriendly and I asked about help and they said I needed to speak with the office manager. You mean to tell me that no one needs financial help ????? for my RPAO. ............. Still only bearing 30lbs weight bearing. I sound and feel like a broken record. I'm doing all of my hip abduction/flexion exercises and they are getting increasingly easier and I feel that I could drive now if I tried. I haven't driven in two months. WOW!!! I just want the quick reaction time in case of an accident and I feel that I could do it now. It doesn't hurt at all anymore (except today............cramps are causing some serious referred pain). I can bend and squat pretty well. Just really waiting to bear that weight and go back to work.

What does normal feel like? Life is now before surgery/after surgery. I know it's been very up and down since the recovery started, but I wouldn't trade this time. I've loved certain aspects of it that I'm sure most would find silly. I've loved staying with my parents while Adam is working. I've loved every second of the Olympics. I've enjoyed my time to think although sometimes it got away from me. I've loved reading my books. I've enjoyed getting to know my wonderful neighbors who check on me constantly. I've enjoyed being taken care of. I usually do all the care taking and worry about others.

Well for now it's the countdown to go back to work and I will continue to dream of the Olympics and Michael Phelps and how I enjoyed my time off this summer while I recovered from my RPAO.