Down to exactly 1 month

I'm down to exactly one month (30 days) until my PAO at Duke. Nervous doesn't begin to describe how I'm feeling. I'm struggling with the concept of loss of independence. I'm busy trying to get the house ready. I just purchased my "hip kit" and shower transfer bench. It's starting to sink in now. I was doing okay when I was preparing for my trip to Disney world. I was so looking forward to the trip and the whole time I was down there I was totally relaxed and not worried. I didn't even get a wheelchair!!! I've come back from Disney world and now I'm a nervous wreck. The doctor gave me some Valium, but I haven't taken any. I guess tonight will be a good night to take something. I wish that it was sooner so I could go ahead and get it over with. I hate stewing over it. I guess I've made it one month already, I can make it another month. My trip helped my mental state so much it's ridiculous. I wish I could take another trip after the surgery to relax me again. I'm going to add pictures to my albums soon so check out my pre-PAO trip to Disney world. Me and my family went on a fireworks cruise at Disney and he asked were we celebrating any special occasion and I told him yes, pre-hip surgery!!! I'm hurting really bad today. I didn't know that sitting in a movie theater for 2 1/2 hours would make it hurt, but I guess the angle is what killed me. I'm going to go finish dinner now. I hope all you fellow PAOers are doing well.

It's been a hard day's night

Well it's the end of a very hectic day in which I'm glad it's almost over. I have been prescribed some Valium for my nerves due to the apprehension of my surgery. I've taken one but need to take one tonight. Today has been hard. I bounce from being in an optimistic mood about the whole thing (PAO) to being not able to handle anything. My job is a lot more stressful than anyone can understand. Between the job and things going on at home one minute I want to be put under just to escape everything. The next I want to run and scream so I don't have to go under. I wonder if anyone else that has this experiences such emotional mood changes? I'm so scared. Last night the dog (Lady the basset hound) went out 3 times. THREE TIMES. I got up all 3 times. Who will let her out when I don't even know if I can get out of bed? My husband will if I wake him. How will everything get done? I know my mom keeps telling me to relax and it'll get taken care of, but how to you stop your brain from thinking. The cat liter box needs to be cleaned, because he'll meow at me if it's not clean enough. How do you put your busy life on hold? I guess if I don't though the pain won't stop. I hate the aggravating pain. I can't lay on my right side. It constantly feels like a stretched rubber band that is stretched too far and is throbbing. I know this whole post is nothing but rambling, but I feel it needs to come out. I am going to Disney World in 2 days and can't tell you how much I hope it's therapeutic more than a vacation, but all I can think about is the wheelchair. I have to rent a wheelchair. I can't walk that far and my doctor told me to rent one to save what cartilage I have left. I DON'T want a wheelchair. It's a burden for me and my family. I don't want to be pushed around. I want to walk like normal, but I can't because the pain will put me to bed for a day. I hate this. I just absolutely hate this. I was looking forward to starting a family with my husband and now I have to do this. I know it's selfish to think this way, but I'm so frustrated and sad. Sorry about all the rambling....

Feelings

I don't think anyone understands what one getting ready for a PAO is going through except fellow PAOers. Here are the things/feelings/thoughts that consume my head and will until I'm on the other side of this operation......
Scared
Pissed
Nausea
Sad
Guilty
Hurt
Unsure of my future
Scared about my job (this post is coming)
Scared about the pain afterwards
Scared for Adam having too much on his plate afterwards
Lack of support at work (except a wonderful few)
How do I take a bath?
What if I don't wake up?
What's the pain like after waking up?
Why me?
I just wanted to start a family, not become a baby again
Loss of independence
How will everything I do get done?
I want to stop crying
Nervous
Tired
In pain
Can't sleep
Don't want to be put under
The financial aspect (questions are numerous)
How do I put it all aside in my head or do I?
Why doesn't anyone seem to understand?
Which chair would be best for my shower?
My parents shouldn't be having to care for me, I'm 29!!!!!
I just thought it was a pulled muscle.

It begins

Hello, my name is Brenna Wolfe and I was just diagnosed with hip dysplasia (like German Shepherds get). I'll start from the very beginning.

Sept 07-
I was working a 12 hour shift on a med surg floor and I came home crying with extreme hip pain. I kept telling my husband it felt like a knife digging in my right hip. I couldn't explain it due to the fact that I moved 8 patients for 12 hours. I took a pain med and didn't pay much attention to it. I told my doctor that I work for (a cardiologist/internist) on the following Monday. He ordered x-rays for me. NOTHING!!

Dec. 07
Still having some pain. Nothing that I take any meds for. I no longer can lay on my right side in the bed and experience some burning and aching in my right leg that shoots down to my knee. I can no longer sit indian style and this all kind of sucks, but I'm still figuring that I've just pulled something from pulling all of those heavy patients back in September. I have a connection through my family of a pediatric orthopaedic surgeon from DUKE. They mention my symptoms to him and he offers to see me. Well I go see Dr. Fitch at Duke (Wonderful Doctor) and had another set of x-rays done. NOTHING. They called me back and stated that if I was still experiencing pain that they would order an MRI with contrast for me. After talking to my mother and her convincing me to have it done prior to starting the mommy process I ordered the MRI.

March 08
I have a MRI with contrast shot directly into my hip joint so that they may see any labral tears which they suspect at this time. The procedure itself was a breeze and even fell asleep in my MRI.
About 2 weeks later I get a call from Dr. Steven Olson's (Duke Orthopaedic Trauma Surgeon) liaison stating that I need a consult with him and the first thing he has is April 10th. I asked the liaison what might be wrong and she proceeds to read me some of his email which states I have a very striking periacetabular retro version with labral tears and he suggest a reverse surgery.
What the hell??? I goggle night and day until my appointment to try and figure out what exactly I have.

April 10th
I meet with Dr. Olson at Duke ortho and he is very nice and to the point. Which I like. I am given a complete physical which they assess my right leg and I can't resist any weight that he is pushing with and I'm about to cry. He gives me two options.

Option 1: Arthroscopic repair of the labral tear I have with the underlying problem of the dysplasia not addressed. I could get another tear in a month or it could be ten years at which point I've done so much damage that my only option is a THR(total hip replacement)

I DON'T THINK SO!

Option 2:
PAO - periacetabular ostoetomy with a labral tear debridement.
I proceeded with option #2
I'm very scared and want to gather all the information I can about this procedure.

I talk with my husband and family at length about scheduling the surgery and to my own stupid decision decide on July 1st due to work (another post coming about my wonderful job!!!! )